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Falsehoods Programmers Believe About Dogs

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Here are some assumptions your system probably makes about dogs. All of them are wrong.

  1. Some dogs are bad dogs.
  2. Some dogs aren’t good dogs.
  3. Okay, all dogs are good dogs, but there’s only one best dog.
  4. There is at least one dog out there that’s not the best dog.
  5. You’re kidding me.
  6. There are times when you shouldn’t be petting a dog.
  7. There are times when you shouldn’t be booping a dog’s nose.
  8. At the very least, there are times when you don’t want doggie kisses.
  9. What about if you’re a super spy and you have to choose between booping a nose and saving Wichita from an orbital laser cannon?
  10. “Fuck Wichita?!”
  11. Mutts are bester than purebreds.
  12. Purebreds are bester than mutts.
  13. Since both mutts and purebreds are the best dogs, I shouldn’t get a rescue.
  14. I shouldn’t get a dog if I have allergies.
  15. I should get a dog if I can’t guarantee 100% responsibility.
  16. You can have too many dogs.
  17. Programming is better than playing with dogs.
  18. There is something better than playing with dogs.
  19. There is something better than dogs.

Dogs.